Come and check it out: thoseknots.blogspot.co.uk
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Sunday, 13 April 2014
Everything will change
April 2014 hey!
This time it really has been a while.
So my last post had a rather depressing and hopeless tone. I was in a negative place to say the least and now... well, things have changed. Everything hasn't changed, I am still battling some confidence and anxiety issues and I will continue to do so, but everything does change and everything will change. Just remember Buddha and his insight into impermanence or anicca.
So, what has happened since I last posted? I have taken little steps and I have made some progress. I am no longer in a wallowing depressive pit of unemployment with no hope of crawling desperately out of it. I have been working yay! I didn't earn myself a full time job but I have been working nonetheless and this has certainly lifted my spirits. I have also earned myself a place on a course that I hope will help me to gain some more confidence and possibly allow me to gain a permanent job somewhere in the future. Fingers crossed for that!
These changes have allowed me to focus on something other than how useless and rubbish I believe I am. I now have to think about the challenges that face me each day and how to overcome them which is much better than not wanting to get up each day to a day filled with tears, sorrow, and horrible thoughts of not being good enough and being a weak person who can't do anything with her life.
Anyway, that is a little update and here's another one. Throughout this past year of feeling very low I started to think about what I had gained from my experiences. My conclusion: perspective. I can now truly empathise with people going through the same experiences as me. I know what it feels like and I take comfort in knowing that there are people feeling the same way as me. I don't want them to be feeling those horrible feelings but I don't want to be alone either. Is that selfish? Is that human?
I have also been thinking that maybe I could use my experiences and feelings to share with people what I have been going through in the hope that they too would share their feelings with me. This has inspired me to create a blog for that purpose. A blog about anxiety through life; a blog about those feelings, those knots in your stomach. I have been in the process of planning this blog and I hope that once it gets started it will help me and maybe, possibly, other people too even if it is 1, 2, 3 or 7 of you! haha! So the next post will be about this new blog... Those knots
This time it really has been a while.
So my last post had a rather depressing and hopeless tone. I was in a negative place to say the least and now... well, things have changed. Everything hasn't changed, I am still battling some confidence and anxiety issues and I will continue to do so, but everything does change and everything will change. Just remember Buddha and his insight into impermanence or anicca.
So, what has happened since I last posted? I have taken little steps and I have made some progress. I am no longer in a wallowing depressive pit of unemployment with no hope of crawling desperately out of it. I have been working yay! I didn't earn myself a full time job but I have been working nonetheless and this has certainly lifted my spirits. I have also earned myself a place on a course that I hope will help me to gain some more confidence and possibly allow me to gain a permanent job somewhere in the future. Fingers crossed for that!
These changes have allowed me to focus on something other than how useless and rubbish I believe I am. I now have to think about the challenges that face me each day and how to overcome them which is much better than not wanting to get up each day to a day filled with tears, sorrow, and horrible thoughts of not being good enough and being a weak person who can't do anything with her life.
Anyway, that is a little update and here's another one. Throughout this past year of feeling very low I started to think about what I had gained from my experiences. My conclusion: perspective. I can now truly empathise with people going through the same experiences as me. I know what it feels like and I take comfort in knowing that there are people feeling the same way as me. I don't want them to be feeling those horrible feelings but I don't want to be alone either. Is that selfish? Is that human?
I have also been thinking that maybe I could use my experiences and feelings to share with people what I have been going through in the hope that they too would share their feelings with me. This has inspired me to create a blog for that purpose. A blog about anxiety through life; a blog about those feelings, those knots in your stomach. I have been in the process of planning this blog and I hope that once it gets started it will help me and maybe, possibly, other people too even if it is 1, 2, 3 or 7 of you! haha! So the next post will be about this new blog... Those knots
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