Come and check it out: thoseknots.blogspot.co.uk
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Sunday, 13 April 2014
Everything will change
April 2014 hey!
This time it really has been a while.
So my last post had a rather depressing and hopeless tone. I was in a negative place to say the least and now... well, things have changed. Everything hasn't changed, I am still battling some confidence and anxiety issues and I will continue to do so, but everything does change and everything will change. Just remember Buddha and his insight into impermanence or anicca.
So, what has happened since I last posted? I have taken little steps and I have made some progress. I am no longer in a wallowing depressive pit of unemployment with no hope of crawling desperately out of it. I have been working yay! I didn't earn myself a full time job but I have been working nonetheless and this has certainly lifted my spirits. I have also earned myself a place on a course that I hope will help me to gain some more confidence and possibly allow me to gain a permanent job somewhere in the future. Fingers crossed for that!
These changes have allowed me to focus on something other than how useless and rubbish I believe I am. I now have to think about the challenges that face me each day and how to overcome them which is much better than not wanting to get up each day to a day filled with tears, sorrow, and horrible thoughts of not being good enough and being a weak person who can't do anything with her life.
Anyway, that is a little update and here's another one. Throughout this past year of feeling very low I started to think about what I had gained from my experiences. My conclusion: perspective. I can now truly empathise with people going through the same experiences as me. I know what it feels like and I take comfort in knowing that there are people feeling the same way as me. I don't want them to be feeling those horrible feelings but I don't want to be alone either. Is that selfish? Is that human?
I have also been thinking that maybe I could use my experiences and feelings to share with people what I have been going through in the hope that they too would share their feelings with me. This has inspired me to create a blog for that purpose. A blog about anxiety through life; a blog about those feelings, those knots in your stomach. I have been in the process of planning this blog and I hope that once it gets started it will help me and maybe, possibly, other people too even if it is 1, 2, 3 or 7 of you! haha! So the next post will be about this new blog... Those knots
This time it really has been a while.
So my last post had a rather depressing and hopeless tone. I was in a negative place to say the least and now... well, things have changed. Everything hasn't changed, I am still battling some confidence and anxiety issues and I will continue to do so, but everything does change and everything will change. Just remember Buddha and his insight into impermanence or anicca.
So, what has happened since I last posted? I have taken little steps and I have made some progress. I am no longer in a wallowing depressive pit of unemployment with no hope of crawling desperately out of it. I have been working yay! I didn't earn myself a full time job but I have been working nonetheless and this has certainly lifted my spirits. I have also earned myself a place on a course that I hope will help me to gain some more confidence and possibly allow me to gain a permanent job somewhere in the future. Fingers crossed for that!
These changes have allowed me to focus on something other than how useless and rubbish I believe I am. I now have to think about the challenges that face me each day and how to overcome them which is much better than not wanting to get up each day to a day filled with tears, sorrow, and horrible thoughts of not being good enough and being a weak person who can't do anything with her life.
Anyway, that is a little update and here's another one. Throughout this past year of feeling very low I started to think about what I had gained from my experiences. My conclusion: perspective. I can now truly empathise with people going through the same experiences as me. I know what it feels like and I take comfort in knowing that there are people feeling the same way as me. I don't want them to be feeling those horrible feelings but I don't want to be alone either. Is that selfish? Is that human?
I have also been thinking that maybe I could use my experiences and feelings to share with people what I have been going through in the hope that they too would share their feelings with me. This has inspired me to create a blog for that purpose. A blog about anxiety through life; a blog about those feelings, those knots in your stomach. I have been in the process of planning this blog and I hope that once it gets started it will help me and maybe, possibly, other people too even if it is 1, 2, 3 or 7 of you! haha! So the next post will be about this new blog... Those knots
Wednesday, 9 October 2013
I'm still here...
Okay, so it's been supppeeeerrrrr long since I last posted...
I wish I could have a reason like:
I've been soo busy doing amazing things I just haven't had the time OR I've been busy with a new job that I love and that inspires me to work hard
BUT the truth...well, the truth is I've been in a blur of getting up each day and worrying, and stressing and trying to take steps to improve myself, my job prospects and essentially my confidence.
It has been hard, it still is, and sometimes I feel I've taken a step forward and then I go and push myself back further again.
Afraid, no self-esteem, no self-confidence, hopeless and full, oh so full, of worry! That is my feelings on a bad day, or a bad hour or a bad minute. I want to change these feelings, change the way I think about things, change my daily life and fears and I believe I can, I believe we all can.
So what's next? I don't know but let's try together not to worry!
There is always things to be happy about... http://www.thingstobehappyabout.com/index.php
I wish I could have a reason like:
I've been soo busy doing amazing things I just haven't had the time OR I've been busy with a new job that I love and that inspires me to work hard
BUT the truth...well, the truth is I've been in a blur of getting up each day and worrying, and stressing and trying to take steps to improve myself, my job prospects and essentially my confidence.
It has been hard, it still is, and sometimes I feel I've taken a step forward and then I go and push myself back further again.
Afraid, no self-esteem, no self-confidence, hopeless and full, oh so full, of worry! That is my feelings on a bad day, or a bad hour or a bad minute. I want to change these feelings, change the way I think about things, change my daily life and fears and I believe I can, I believe we all can.
So what's next? I don't know but let's try together not to worry!
There is always things to be happy about... http://www.thingstobehappyabout.com/index.php
Monday, 5 August 2013
Let go
Today...Let go.
Let go of your worries, of your fears, of your anxieties
and Breathe....
You will be okay.
Sunday, 28 July 2013
The Shadow of the Wind
I've recently finished reading The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón and I thought I would reflect on it and give a short review on here.
The book follows Daniel on his quest to discover about the life and mysterious findings of the author Julian Carax after he chooses his book from the 'Cemetery of Forgotten Books'. It is a book full of mystery and discovery and as you find out more along Daniel's journey to discover the truth you become more intrigued into the characters lives and the secrets that have been hidden.
Carlos Ruiz Zafón is the perfect storyteller and his writing is remarkable. The book also celebrates and highlights the importance of literature with words reveling in the joy and the art of digging into a good book.
This quote from the book shows that we should celebrate literature and read more books- you'll never know what your heart and mind might discover! To books! :)
Carlos Ruiz Zafón is the perfect storyteller and his writing is remarkable. The book also celebrates and highlights the importance of literature with words reveling in the joy and the art of digging into a good book.
"Bea says the art of reading is slowly dying, that it's an intimate ritual, that a book is a mirror that offers us only what we already carry inside us, that when we read, we do it with all our heart and mind, and great readers are becoming more scarce by the day."
This quote from the book shows that we should celebrate literature and read more books- you'll never know what your heart and mind might discover! To books! :)
Thursday, 11 July 2013
Pick me up Playlist!
The sun is
out and that generally means happier moods! Yay!
The sun
makes us want to go outside in the garden, make a cool iced drink, listen to
music and smile :)
However,
sometimes there can still be a lot on our minds, we could still be feeling like
my previous post... Still.
And so…it’s
important that we pick ourselves up. I’m a big music lover and I believe songs
can make us feel so much, make us relate to so much and can instantly change
our moods. As a result of this I thought I would write a Pick me up Playlist of
happy, encouraging songs so that people can choose to search, listen and
possibly download and have their spirits lifted.
So here
goes…
1)
Eliza
Doolittle- Pack Up
I love Eliza’s laid back approach to her songs, it is perfect for summer days lounging about and the lyrics are positive too! “Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and bury them beneath the sea”
2)
S
Club 7 – Bring It All Back
Going back to 90’s pop, this first single from S Club 7, much like their other singles, is cheery and upbeat, an old classic! Again its lyrics are full of positivity and offer a release from any bad days or hard times. “When the world is on your shoulders just smile and let it go”
3)
Kelly
Clarkson- People Like Us
Kelly loves her pop anthems and this song does not disappoint. This is another uplifting song that makes you want to dance about and sing loudly. It is essentially an empowering song for those of us who feel like outcasts, or generally feel alone and not able to ‘fit in’. “We are all misfits living in a world on fire”
4)
Avril
Lavigne- Here’s To Never Growing Up
Another feel good tune this is about having fun, living in the moment and never growing up- yay! “Singing Radiohead at the top of our lungs with the boom box blaring as we’re falling in love”
5)
Fall
Out Boy- Young Volcanoes
Last but certainly not least is this song from the band who never fails when it comes to creating catchy rock songs with quirky lyrics.This is a really cool song and has been one of my favourites since discovering it a few weeks ago. “Tonight the foxes hunt the hounds, and it’s all over now before it has begun, we’ve already won”
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Still.
Lately the feeling of being still has overwhelmed me.
What I mean by this is that I feel like I'm not going anywhere instead I'm stuck. I'm still.
I've always had a rule and I stand by this: that you should never compare yourself to anyone else, but it's really hard when you see friends, people your age, people younger who are going places, moving forward, working towards something and you are still.
Having said that, we all have moments of overwhelming worry for the future and REALLY you should never compare yourself to anyone!! Not only does it not get you anywhere but there's a reason we're all different and we're all on different paths. I think it's useful to take a step back, to have time to yourself and to think what shall I do now?
I feel like I've wasted my time thus far and that I should have been doing something else but I can't change what I've done, I can only do something now and what I've realised is no matter what anyone tells you or how you feel if you do compare yourself to someone else (which you REALLY shouldn't :P) there is no rush to getting somewhere. Do small things, little by little, do things for you, follow your own advice as no one knows you better than you!
Don't be pressured and make yourself happy the way you know how...x
What I mean by this is that I feel like I'm not going anywhere instead I'm stuck. I'm still.
I've always had a rule and I stand by this: that you should never compare yourself to anyone else, but it's really hard when you see friends, people your age, people younger who are going places, moving forward, working towards something and you are still.
I feel like I've wasted my time thus far and that I should have been doing something else but I can't change what I've done, I can only do something now and what I've realised is no matter what anyone tells you or how you feel if you do compare yourself to someone else (which you REALLY shouldn't :P) there is no rush to getting somewhere. Do small things, little by little, do things for you, follow your own advice as no one knows you better than you!
Don't be pressured and make yourself happy the way you know how...x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)